I am trying to be green, but . . .

I really am trying to be more "green." The problem is, I can't quite get it right. You see, I prefer to use paper towels to clean up messes than cloth towels, even though cloth towels are the greener choice. I also like to print things out sometimes, even though that involves bleached white office paper. There are situations where I could ride a bicycle, but end up driving the car because I didn't allow myself enough time to get there on a bike. What else? Oh yes, I don't always turn off the light when I leave the room because I think it is good to show some light in different rooms. (It is supposed to throw off the burglars). We subscribe to magazines that don't get read and sometimes we have to throw food out because we let it spoil. Who can keep up with this all the time? Can anyone? It would take a constant, 24-hour vigil to really get it done. It makes me wonder about the people that make that claim and lord it over everyone else. I bet we could find something on them. But, wouldn't that be a waste of energy, too?

The spirit is willing, but the mouth is weak

I really wish I could go back to being a vegetarian. Back in 2002, I decided to stop eating meat. Unfortunately, the decision was made before I went to the National Planning Conference in Chicago that year. The first place we ate lunch was that place that they used to spoof on Saturday Night Live-- "cheeseburger, cheeseburger"-- what was the name of that place? Anyway, to order anything but a hamburger or cheeseburger in that place was asking for trouble. I became a vegetarian the next day. I actually kept up with it in full force for a year. I lost 20 pounds without doing anything else. It was great. It was not easy though. Eating out was tough. Most places had only one veggie option and it was a salad or a cheese sandwich. You get tired of those after a while, especially if you don't like iceberg lettuce in the first place. So, every now and then, I would have to go ahead and consume animal flesh. Then, those occasions got closer and closer together. It was easier to just order a turkey sandwich and be done with it. When visiting relatives, it was just easier to eat whatever they were serving than to be a pain in the butt asking for different food. Then, I got married. Then, we went to Poland. I don't think there are any vegetarians there. Plus, I did not know the word for "vegetables" or "vegetarian" in Polish anyway. It pretty much unraveled from there.

But now, I am trying to get the magic back. We do pretty well here at home, but eating out is still a challenge. I just have to remember how good I felt during that year. It was interesting though, how much opposition I ran into during that time. I stopped eating meat for me and for no other reason. I never told anyone else that they should do the same thing but I was happy to talk about it with them if they wanted. I let the results speak for themselves. There were no lectures, no self-righteousness, no judgment. But, I got a lot of it in return. So many people tried to convince me that I was the one doing the wrong thing. Sometimes though, you just have to listen to your own voice. Hopefully, I can do it again.

Almost the new 30

Today, I turned 39 years old.  I keep hearing that 60 (years old) is the new 40.  By extension, some say that 40 is the new 30.  That's fine with me.  I will be the old 40 or the new 30 or whatever, as long as I don't have to go through my 20's again.  They sucked.  I was in a toxic relationship, 60 pounds overweight, and didn't know how to stand up for myself.  I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life or how to make anything good happen.  Miserable stuff. I am much happier now.  Please don't make me go back.  Some people pine for their "youth" and don't want to grow up.  I embrace it.  I feel more alive now than I ever did then.  I think I look better, too, if I do say so myself.  Next year, maybe we'll have a big party when I turn 40, or the new 30, or whatever.  I can't wait.

Make a decision, please!

I was in a department store the other day trying to buy a few things. I was not in a hurry per se, but I needed to return to work at some point. I could have accomplished all my tasks in a much shorter period of time had I not entangled myself in this trite, bordering on insanity decision-making process that always goes on in my head. First, I went to pick out a belt for Eddie. All he wanted was a black belt, silver buckle, size 34 waist-- one that he could wear with his work clothes or more casually with shorts. Not exactly detailed criteria. Anyway, I find the rack of belts. I could ignore all the brown ones and the ones with gold buckles. I started going through the black ones. Wrong size, buckle too big, belt too wide. Oh, wait, here is one that has the right sized buckle, black leather, size 34 waist. Perfect. Great. Walk away. Nope. Not so fast. Instead of taking the belt and going on my merry way, I continued to look through the belts to make sure there wasn't a better size 34 waist black belt with a silver buckle. This went on for several minutes before I walked away with the same belt I picked out in the first place.

Then, I went to women's lingerie. They had underwear on sale-- 3 for $21 or something like that. It was a brand I liked, so I started to look through the underwear. I have to pick out 3 pairs. Do I want beige, black, yellow or this nice rose color? I have to wade through the thong and bikini styles to find the hi-cut style. Or, should I get the hipster style? Oh, they don't have it in my size in that nice rose color. I finally find 3 pairs that I like. Perfect. Great. Walk away. Nope. I see another display with another brand that uses organic cotton and bamboo. I want to try that. That's a nice purple and a nice blue. Oh dear, I can't find 3 pairs. Then, I realized that I probably had enough underwear at home already, so I put the 3 pairs back and went on.

Next, the baby department. No, not for me, for our next door neighbor and one of my tennis teammates. Both are having boys, both have a girl already. So, they need boy clothes, right? Because that's what we do with babies right? Boys have to wear blue, girls pink. They can't use hand-me downs. Since my neighbor and my teammate don't know each other, I could get them the same thing and save some time. Yeah, right. I looked at toys, blankets, stuffed animals. No, keep looking. Three racks stuffed to the gills with baby clothes on clearance. Here we go. I found a couple of cute outfits. Perfect. Great. Walk away. Nope. I kept looking to see if I could find anything cuter (because they would know if I didn't). Finally, I settled on two outfits for each. I guess I'm done with shopping. No, wait, there were those shoes that I saw in the ad. Oh, you sold out of the size 10s? Hmm, maybe there is a pair sort of like it around here some place. Let me try these on. No, those won't work. Aaaaaaaaggggghhhhhh!

Obviously, I eventually made it out of the store and back to work. On the ride back, I kept asking why I insist on tormenting myself in this manner. I guess I just want things to be perfect. Good answer. Great. Walk away. Now.

We're baaaaaaack!

Eddie and I have returned from a delightful trip to Eureka Springs, Arkansas and Avon, Minnesota. In Eureka Springs, we stayed at the historic Basin Park hotel right in the middle of town. Supposedly, there are ghosts in the building, but if they were around that weekend, they did not bother us. The hotel was creaky and the bathrooms were tiny, but what character. Plus, when you walked out the front door, you were in the middle of town with interesting shops and restaurants in every direction. We didn't really buy anything though, just walked around a lot. (The store owners love that). On Thursday evening, we met up with the youth group from my church and went to see the Great Passion Play. It was a really good show, but it started to pour down rain during the crucifixion. There were two crashes of thunder/lightning-- one that was part of the show, one that wasn't. They cancelled the rest of the show after the latter. Luckily, we had ponchos with us, so we didn't get soaked. On Friday (July 4), we had to check out of the Basin Park Hotel and moved to the Bavarian Inn, where the lodging had a certain charm, but the real draw was the food at the German/Czech restaurant on site. Mmmmmmmm. We had cream of sauerkraut soup, bratwurst with pork strips (Eddie), sauerkraut, potato pancakes and some other cabbage variation. The next morning, they had blueberry coffee cake (from the restaurant) for the guests to eat for breakfast. Mmmmmmm.

After the blueberry coffee cake, we hit the road to Minnesota. The purpose of the trip was twofold: to ride bicycles on the Wobegon Regional Trail and to help Mark & Katrina clean up/throw out/box up/get ready to move fully to Alaska. We accomplished both, but I think the biking was more successful. I don't think our couple of days worth of work put much of a dent in the moving process. At least we were there to lend some moral support. Yeah, that's it-- moral support. Katrina and 2 of the kids went back to Alaska while we were there. Mark and the other two kids, a bunch of stuff and Biggie the St. Bernard, followed by Mal & Chris, will make the trek by car in a couple of weeks. Sheesh. I know how long the process can take. Before our wedding, Eddie and I purged and moved out a bunch of stuff from my house to get it ready for the realtor to show. While we were on the honeymoon, Mal & Chris did several projects for us. When we got back, I spent about a week going through more stuff and getting it moved over to the new place. It took several months to go through everything and integrate my stuff with Eddie's stuff and the weddding gifts and purge some more. Then, about a year or so after that, I went through the attic and organized and purged again. All of that took place for a move across town. Their move is so much more complicated. But, maybe we helped some. I know we had a great time biking the trail. We even brought a bicycle back with us-- one less thing for them!

Oh, isn't this just lovely

I see this gem on my way to work in the morning-- the giant billboard with an advertisement to purchase a gas-guzzling SUV. Nice.

Two sweet years

Well, today is the day of our second wedding anniversary. Woo hoo! I don't know if I would say that time has flown by-- it has been more like floating-- like a canoe softly and easily floating down the river-- and then careening over a waterfall (just kidding about that last part). We have had such fun together. We've traveled to Poland, taken a road trip across the country, made important decisions at Bosco's, watched a lot of tennis and laughed a lot along the way (except at that bus station in Opatow). And yes, we have even played mixed doubles together. We haven't tried ballroom dancing or a kitchen renovation yet, but if we do, I am sure it will be fine. I just couldn't ask for anything more-- except many, many more years like these.